Gary de Rodriguez with Peopleistic gave the second part of his presentation on Unknown Public Speaking Skills: the Structure of Charisma!
Most of us are here to generate leads. Leads can only turn into sustainable business when you create the relationship with those leads! All relationships are based on being able to connect and that connection is always through conversation and how you engender trust and psychological safety. This is about learning how to begin to create that at an unconscious level. 90% of us are at the unconscious level and 10% is at the conscious! When you are communicating, people are making stuff up all the time about you, based on how you are showing up, and they will never tell you what they made up! How do we take our mouths and our bodies and create the best type of environment to engender that trust and psychological safety?
We are going to learn how to present better! When we present better, we create better influence. Leadership is ultimately all about influence.
Gary explained that when we present to an audience, it is important to know that audiences consist of people who prefer to receive information in different ways. Typically, 45% of people are primarily Visual, 15% are Auditory and 40% are Kinaesthetic. When you talk with someone, follow their eye patterns. When their eyes look up, they are sorting for visual images, when they look laterally, they are sorting for sounds, and when they look down, they are sorting for feelings. As a person’s eyes move to different quadrants, the dominant area they go to will tell you the way they prefer to receive information. This will help you create the type of information that will land best in them. Each one of these communication styles have a different body posture, tonal inflection, and tempo. If you are going to be doing a presentation to one or a thousand, if you do not vary your voice, you will loose people!
Some people speak in a rapid-fire pace (Visual) and will lose kinaesthetic people. Highly kinaesthetic people are always talking about me and how I am enjoying doing my presentation and forgetting completely about how the audience is going to learn. Auditory have more of a sing-song quality to their voice. Gary demonstrated a discussion using all three principal learning styles, varying his speed, tone, pitch, and emphasis. 38% of the meaning of your communication is your pitch and tone, 55% your physiology and 7% your words. They will not remember what you say, they will remember your presence.
Our body is also a very important part of communication. When addressing the Visual audience (rapid-fire pace), you use your hands to mark up to the visual quadrant of eye pattern charts. For Auditory (when you are using more of a sing-song quality), you mark off laterally, to the Auditory quadrant of the eye pattern charts. For the Kinaesthetic people (when you slow way down), your hands are marked down to the Kinaesthetic part of the chart. People are unconsciously aware that you are including them in their primary learning styles.
Gary took several questions. The first question was “Why am I so horrible at this?” Gary said the answer is in KASH: you need the knowledge, which you must apply, the application of the knowledge turns into a skill, then it becomes a habit! Unless we practice this, then nothing changes. You have to be able to take your life and gain and apply knowledge. The more you repeat and feel it, the more your thought patterns go down that path. This is why super negative people stay negative and why people that are determined to be successful, gain and apply knowledge and it turns into a skill and a habit until it becomes their character. Buddha said “Be mindful of your words and your thoughts and manage them with great care. For as the shadow follows the body so as a man and woman speaks and thinks, so they become.”
“How do you know your audience’s influencing style?” Assume from the studies that you will have a variety of learning styles and work to capture them all and you will get a greater percentage of people. You can also analyse your target audience. One group Gary spoke to, he knew by the content of the conference were going to be largely Kinaesthetics; he shook hands with everyone who walked in the door and he knew he had a warm audience before he even spoke. In speaking to a group of academics, Gary listened to the voice quality of the conversations in the audience: voices that curl up want approach-ability; voices that curl down want credibility.
When you get this information and you master it, it will change your life and your team’s life: you want them to be brand ambassadors for your values, mission, and how you want your company represented.
When communicating with depressive people, should I be upbeat to pull the conversation up or go down to their level? It is like dating! Pace the person to create rapport where they are and then lead them to where you want to go. That is the ethical way to influence.