Gary De Rodriguez with Peopleistic shared the third part of his presentation on Unknown Public Speaking Skills: How to Use Body Language Effectively! Antonio Damasio, a research scientist with the USC Brain and Creativity Center, did a study on why and how people buy and found that people buy not based on data or price but based on how they feel emotionally. So, when you are able to create a connection, things change rapidly. The emotional meaning people take away from our communication is based on 7% words, 38% tonality and 55% physiology. There is an aquifer of communication underneath what is being said.
People do business with people they know, like, and trust. Creating trust is so powerful and most of it is done not with your mouth but with the subtle aspects of your communication, which is why it is helpful to create unconscious rapport. The more you are like someone (sit, match and mirror their physiology), the more you send a message that is homogeneous to the person. People are drawing conclusions all the time about what you are doing physically. There are about 5 layers to this model of getting unconscious rapport, which establishes trust. There is also analog marking, eye patterns, speaking to predicate systems, and speaking to the values discovered by listening to how the person uses their body to emphasize words. If you speak to their values, you create a much deeper conversation, connection, trust and unconscious rapport in a very short period of time.
How can you add to your already established success strategies? It is with communication aspects that will build another level of your ability to connect to new and old customers alike.
Virginia Sater was the mother of family therapy and was one of the first therapists who realized that in a family everyone plays roles. She worked with the family as an entire unit and made interventions based upon the ecology of the roles in the family system. In that study, she began to understand that there are certain physiological body archetypes that people would go into that communicated volumes about who they are and where they are emotionally. You can use your body and voice synchronistically to create more charisma or impact, like a symphony. There are 5 different Sater Categories which bring you tremendous flexibility in those you are communicating with.
Eye patterns, voice tempo and tone also indicate preferred communication styles. If you match a person’s tempo and tone, you match their communication style and have greater influence.
DISC analysis can also help you determine more about another person’s behavioral processing and know more about how to engage with them. If you know they are high “I”, emphasize friendship; for high”D”, be very direct, very short, go into the benefits to them and play subservient; for high”S”, create security and consistency; for high”C”, emphasize technical benefits and make sure you dot your “i’s” and cross your “t’s” and that they understand the financial ramifications. DISC analysis and the Sater Categories are just two of the 3 or 4 levels of reading people. Reading people has nothing to do with you selling your stuff, but has everything to do with being able to step into their model of the world and lead them to where you know you can benefit them. If your product or service does not benefit them, you back off because that is not ethical. If it does benefit them, you almost have an obligation to move through their barriers of resistance. If you understand and can mirror your audience, you have greater opportunity to show them how you and your product can benefit them.
You are you all the time; you are not being a chameleon. “The one with the most flexibility in the system controls the system.” If I have the flexibility to step into your model of the world but always be who I am, knowing I am there out of positive intention to help you define whether my service or product will benefit you or not, then I can slowly lead you into a place where we can have greater conversation. Everyone has natural resistance and effective communication allows you to assist them in moving through their resistances. People judge all of the time. When we really understand who we are talking to and communicate in the other person’s style, we are honoring them more and the more we create that kind of connection, the more they feel safe, comfortable and trusting. It is about creating connection, trust, and building relationships that turn into word-of-mouth referrals.
Sign up for the training on November 14th to take your leadership and influencing ability to a whole new level of effectiveness!